So‚ the whole point is‚ really examining‚ going deep into the internal working‚ and coming to grips with why am I afraid of this‚ what are my hang-ups? Like‚ really‚ what's the deal? And doing research‚ obviously‚ to realize that‚ I would argue‚ not only are home births safer‚ but‚ I'll spin it to you this way‚ if you want to get a Staph infection‚ guess where you should go?
The Hospital.
The Hospital. The one and only correct answer. Staph infections at the hospital. Go to the hospital and have your surgery and come out of it with a new liver and a Staph infection. You know‚ it happens all the time. And it makes sense. Where are all the diseases? Where do all the sick people go? To the hospital. But pregnancy isn't a disease. There's nothing sick about it‚ it's absolutely the most perfect and pure thing. And a birth is the most wonderful thing ever. Now‚ it was motherfucking intense. And I've never seen -- I always knew that women were sort of maybe had a better pain tolerance and they can handle things differently than men can. We're just different animals. But I've never seen anything like what I saw‚ in terms of strength. And the Rite of Passage that occurs for a woman -- I was the only man there were six women‚ and me‚ you know‚ with midwives‚ and attendants. It was women. It's women's deal. Because we can't‚ as men‚ we don't understand it‚ we can't understand it‚ we can see it‚ we can observe it. If we're sensitive and thoughtful people we can really try to put our bodies and minds into that space and try to understand‚ but we can't really. Not really. And if anyone tells you different‚ they're lying to you‚ and they probably want your money.
Did you need anything to help you along? Did you need to kick back a drink or anything‚ as you were watching this "Intense Motherfucking Process"?
No‚ no‚ no. I was in it.
You were in it to win it?
I was absolutely in it‚ because I'm not going to be scared by shit anymore. I've seen‚ I've seen the most horr… I was there when my father died. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life. It was a struggle‚ it was the worst -- I'll never forget those images. The sounds. It was a horror show. It's a legitimate and beautiful process in and of itself‚ but it was horrifying. So I figured‚ well goddamn it‚ if I did that‚ if I hung on the other end of the spectrum‚ then I'm going to dive in 100% in this beautiful side of the spectrum. You know‚ the being born. I've earned it. I've done my due diligence on the other end of the spectrum and by god I'm going to enjoy this.
So‚ you know‚ I got to touch my son's head while he was crowning. I got to be in the water when he was born. We got to watch him there‚ it was such a gentle experience‚ you know‚ his transition‚ rather than just up to the surface‚ cut the cord -- we didn't cut the cord for that matter‚ I'm actually‚ I have a huge new political agenda‚ or social agenda‚ I think‚ which is explaining to people that you do not have to cut the umbilical cord‚ and in fact‚ to do it‚ is essentially like stabbing your baby as soon as it's born. The umbilical cord connects the placenta and the baby. It is one system. It's not baby‚ umbilical cord‚ placenta‚ it's all one connected system. And when you cut the umbilical cord‚ you have to clamp it because it bleeds. Well you've just taken this kid's‚ who's just gone through‚ in this case‚ 14 hours worth of hard work‚ and the first thing you do is cut it? It doesn't make any sense to me. It doesn't make any sense.
So what was your method for dealing with the umbilical cord‚ did you let it fall off?
Yeah‚ we -- it's called Lotus Birth‚ and it's kind of‚ in a way it's a pain in the ass‚ because you have to take the baby and the umbilical cord and the placenta are still attached to each other‚ until they fall off on their own accord‚ but you have to take care of the stuff because the placenta is an organ‚ and once it's out and not connected to the mother anymore it's going to start to decompose. Very quickly. So you have to take care of it. But you know‚ for thousands and thousands of years‚ people have been doing it. It's as simple as clean water and very‚ very finely powdered rosemary. I also recommend very‚ very finely powdered golden seal. These are two natural herbs. Anyway‚ so if you cut the cord‚ I've heard it can take up to 30 days for that thing to fall off‚ the little nub. If you don't cut the cord‚ it took 3 ½ days. He has a perfect belly button and it's the most perfect belly button you've ever seen in your life.
Is it naturally an outtie? How does that even work?
No‚ it's an innie.
An innie.
I'm telling you man‚ everything that people have been taught about pregnancy is either a lie‚ or wrong. Then again‚ I don't mean to be dismissive‚ but I think it takes a very strong and powerful woman to even consider doing a home birth. And there are no drugs. And the hospital is -- it's sad‚ but the people -- if you're into home birth‚ going to the hospital is like a failure. Well‚ not a failure‚ but only in the most life threatening of emergencies is that even an option. Because fuck the hospital‚ fuck western medicine system‚ fuck the doctors telling you that you can't do it on your own. It's just‚ the whole thing‚ the way we did it‚ is the way I think people should do it. Now‚ it takes‚ like I said it takes a very‚ very dedicated powerful and strong woman to do it‚ because… and‚ I've taken all my yellow belt and green belt‚ my black belt tests‚ and those motherfuckers are hard‚ but guess what? NO WHERE NEAR as hard as what I saw. Just the whole thing. It requires such a dedication and such a commitment‚ but when you pass through it‚ you become empowered in a way that I don't think you can achieve in a different way.
This is a woman. What I've observed from watching my wife and other women who have done home births. Coming through it‚ knowing that you've done it with some assistance‚ but basically on your own‚ you become‚ you have a new level of mastery.
Well‚ it seems like it's a Rite of Passage for the entire family‚ not just for the woman.
It is‚ but then again‚ I would argue‚ I would caution any male to say that they had too much to do with it. Because you really don't.
[laughing] Yeah‚ that's when you get your ass kicked.
But she can. In this case‚ men would be better served to just be like‚ yep‚ it's her deal‚ I'm there to be a rock‚ I'm there to be supportive‚ to be strong if she needs me‚ but I'm also there to get the fuck out if she tells me to. Right?
[laughing] Totally.
And so‚ men really‚ yeah‚ we're involved‚ but we're not crucial. We did our part nine months prior‚ and that's that. It was a powerful thing‚ a very profound thing‚ and I would never do it any other way I don't think‚ having conquered the initial fears‚ the indoctrination. You know‚ where I grew up -- and you think about Boston‚ all those Universities‚ all those smart people‚ and yet‚ just completely bought in‚ to well‚ I'm going to have my baby at Mass General‚ and… It's just a bunch of suckers‚ man. We've been fooled‚ and it's our own responsibility to not be fooled. I know it's so hard to try and understand that -- now I'm saying this is just if everything goes good and you've gotta have very talented people with you to monitor‚ it's not like you can just wing it. You know‚ I've seen people in the Australian Outback make a video about how they just winged it. I don't recommend that. But‚ if you're healthy‚ if you're strong‚ then you're going to be okay. It's just‚ you're going to psyche yourself out -- that's how you're going to lose. You're going to psyche yourself out‚ you're going to get scared‚ and you're going to buy into it‚ and that's when you lose the experience. That experience is one thing‚ there's no other recreating it‚ there's no other experience that will compare. It's its own thing. And only women can experience it‚ and it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.